Monday, March 9, 2015


everyday i feel more ugly, useless, disgusting, worthless than the day before.

i hate myself a little bit more for how much i allow other people to influence how i feel.

i hate.

Saturday, January 31, 2015


i have too many friends that i have sex with. i have sex with all of them. boys, girls, whoever. its casual, its fun. but now its not.

i have herpes. or i might have herpes or whatever.

now i have to tell all of these people that want to continue to have sex with me (1) to get tested and (2) if they are neg they probably don't want to have sex with me.

and i thought i didn't have friends before.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Thursday, June 12, 2014


sometimes i forget. i forget that any of it ever happened. i forget i was ever that close with another person. i forget living there. i forget being on my own. i forget how in love i was. how happy i was. i forget how excited i was for the future. i forget crying so hard it hurt. that i couldnt breathe. i forget how quickly that can all change. i forget how it felt.

and then i remember and its like the years havent passed and i havent grown stronger and i havent survived

Sunday, February 16, 2014


remember that one time we were almost in love.

we held each others hands.

kissed like we didnt know when we would see each other again.

said so many sweet things and didn't care who knew.

yeah... what was i thinking... that wasnt the person you are. that was the person you wanted to be for second when you were with me; until you got scared and pulled away.