everyday i feel more ugly, useless, disgusting, worthless than the day before.
i hate myself a little bit more for how much i allow other people to influence how i feel.
i have too many friends that i have sex with. i have sex with all of them. boys, girls, whoever. its casual, its fun. but now its not.
i have herpes. or i might have herpes or whatever.
now i have to tell all of these people that want to continue to have sex with me (1) to get tested and (2) if they are neg they probably don't want to have sex with me.
and i thought i didn't have friends before.