friday

Truth of the matter is im sad, im unhappy. i go thru the motions to pretend like.i.am ok, so that people dont take notice.

im still ok with the idea of dying. must live better with no fear

work in progress

hey,  I know I am not supposed to contact you. it was part of our agreement that I would stop and even if I tried to contact you, you wouldnt respond. Supposedly it was the only way I would get over you.

Turns out im still not over you. Its silly really, I cant stop thinking about you. You set the bar to high; you were my balance. Having knowledge and passion in all the areas I wanted it but was lacking. You were such a great person. I have not found anyone who even starts to compare to you.

I hate you sometimes, thinking about you hurts. I dont want to know how your doing, i dont want to chat over coffee. I want to look at you and see what I do; see what you do. I have contemplated going to one of your shows just for that reason. Obviously I havent.

Anyways, this is just another attempt to get you to speak to me again....

sweating

i like sweating so much in bikram

no one can see my tears