i think I may have a split personality

divorce

it really feels like going through another divorce... having the separate mine from hers, divvying up friends and movies, making sure the bills are paid evenly. fuck. this shit is all effed up. this wasn't how it was supposed to happen. i can easily pretend that something different has been going on, or that none of this ever happened, that the friendship never existed. that seems the be the easiest way of dealing, however hard it is. but seeing her post on our mutual friends' facebook kills me. she has no right. she left me and she left them. she made her choices, you cant go back. gah! she has every right whatever, but still sucks. on another note: i had a great saturday night/sunday =) yup <3

cigarretes

these vile sticks that I smoke, fill my lungs and exhale what I do not consume. they take my energy, they enduse short comas in the sun.

yet, i feel incomplete without their taste between my tonge and cheek. their imposed need to breathe, to inhale life, and exhale death and impurities. my chest tightens and I am covered in a cloud of thin fog to no longer see the world; mask what I choose to not see.

awwwww time for another

finally

I got a run in today, my tires should be fixed tomorrow...
and a date friday or saturday? yes.

Yoga tomorrow maybe before tires. =) eee and sd next week!

awww things are on the up and up I think... or like i told katey yesterday... ive only made it to the eye of the storm.

::fingers crossed::

as of today

i am done feeling sorry for myself

March 15

im self destructing

pi day

Paul contacted me, but then wouldn't respond to me.

what the fuck

joshua tree

j tree, fuck you, fuck you so hard

but it takes a lonely one to wish she'd never dreamt at all